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Once upon a time, I dreamed of having kids.

I did not specify the spacing of these kids.

The math is pretty easy, but the rest of it is an adventure.

Let’s break this down.

Cameron’s birthday is January 7, 2005. Ten months later, I found out that I was pregnant with Julian. His birthday is July 18, 2006. That’s 18 months and 11 days apart. 13 months later, we got the shock of a lifetime when I found out that I was pregnant with Lily. She was due March 8, 2008, but decided to show up to the party 3 weeks early on February 17, 2008. That leaves us just over 2 weeks away from her 10th birthday. She and Julian are one day from being 19 months apart.

People have asked me MANY questions.

How has this changed you?

I’ve done the math- I spent 27 months, give or take a few days, out of 36 months, pregnant. That’s most of three years. My bladder is done for. I can’t drink then even think of jumping, because it’s going to be a disaster. Some of my mom friends have this issue too. I’ve got so many stretch marks I’m not even sure which kid they came from. My boobs still look great, though. I have somehow retained and improved my sense of humor. Comedy gets me through parenting, and I’m a better person because I’m a mom. I’m a huge mama bear. My multitasking skills are amazing- while typing this post, I talked Lily through doing her hair and called for Miss Purr to come out of hiding. I also like my sleep a lot more. There was a long time in which I barely got any. I also learned how to streamline things- trying to get three kids of any age anywhere takes patience, a routine and extra time. There’s always someone that doesn’t want to get out of bed. In our case, Cameron is that kid.

How do you parent three kids?

We get out of bed and hope for the best. On a bad day, I break out the riot gear. I’m kidding, I don’t have any, but I’m sure I may need some before the kids move out. All jokes aside, we realize the kids are three different people and have to adjust for each kids’ needs. Food, pets and Wi-Fi also help. Again, comedy. Lots of comedy. Sarcasm is my best friend.

What about cars and college?

I hope like hell they all get scholarships. Seriously. All three kids are going to college and they’ll have to work like I did. (Matthew did go to college, and he did work, but he didn’t finish.) I typed my undergrad practicum paper to graduate with Julian sleeping in his crib feet away from me. He was 11 months old when I graduated college in 2007. Having a kid is not gonna be an excuse at this house for not finishing college- I had both boys before I finished. Cars? Yuck. Cameron is three years from being old enough for a permit, Kentucky requires a year these days. We haven’t decided yet what we’re doing, but three cars is not an option. The insurance would be wildly expensive and we don’t have enough space.

What about clothes? Toys? The Royal Rumble fights?

The boys have shared clothes since day one, because it saves money and I bought a lot of cute clothes. Lily lucked out and got all new stuff because she’s the only girl. The boys do get new clothes, but they swap stuff all the time. The boys share a Wii, because I refuse to buy two of them. They share some other things, like Pokemon cards and DVDs but some things, like Julian’s NERF guns, are off limits and everyone knows not to touch them.

When the Royal Rumble goes down, Cameron usually wins. He’s bigger and Julian gets mad and cries. They leave Lily out of this, but you couldn’t pay her to wrestle.

How were the rough phases, like potty training?

Julian broke his foot while he was being potty trained and that was an ordeal. It was not fun or pretty, but he did better than we thought. Lily almost didn’t make it to preschool- we started so late because of her delays. She had accidents well into preschool. Cameron wasn’t trained to go all night until I was well into my pregnancy with Lily. I was thrilled to buy the last pack of Pull-Ups for Lily. It was tiring, brain-zapping, but we got through it. This is why I won’t get another dog unless it is housebroken.

How do they get along?

The boys are each other’s best friends. Sometimes they try to maim each other or they’re tattling, but five minutes later they’re laughing together and into their next adventure. They have gotten into many things that I’m pretty sure they might not have done alone.

Julian and Lily get along pretty well. We get asked a lot if they are twins because their names rhyme (I didn’t realize this until my niece told me and even then, I was too far into my pregnancy to care.) and they’re close to the same size.

NOPE. I’m pretty sure Julian’s older.

They play together a lot and sometimes they fight, but for the most part, they do well. Lily and Cameron, however, are not a good mix. They fight constantly and Cameron is the classic older brother. He likes to annoy his younger sister. She likes to get him in trouble. *sighs*

Would you re-do the spacing?

Definitely. I would have gone at least two years per kid. I didn’t sleep much for a few years. My pregnancy with Lily was hard because of the two previous ones being so close together. If you’ve never heard of a prolapsed uterus, feel free to Google it. It’s not fun. I would have loved to have had someone 100% potty trained before the next kid. We had two kids in preschool at the same time and that got really expensive. There’s a lot that we didn’t take into consideration before we had kids, much less the way we spaced them. There are some good things, however. When Lily graduates high school, I will be 43. I will be 40 a week before Cameron’s 18th birthday. It is cool that my kids are so close in age when it comes to family activities, and they do tend to take care of each other. My sisters are five and eight years older than me, so I missed out on some of this as a kid. Matthew and his older brother are just under two years apart, and they’re very close. It’s also good that I can teach some things once and not have to do it repeatedly, like how to watch clothes. I taught Cameron, he helped Julian figure it out, and I only had to remind Lily of a couple things because she watched her brothers. Once the big things are over, they’re over. Once Lily slept all night as a baby, I finally got my sleep back! She took a while to walk, but once she was old enough for us to not worry about baby gates anymore, they were gone after three years.

All jokes aside, I really do love my kids. They’re great and everyday is an adventure with them. I have no clue what I’ll do with myself when they’re all gone.

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