“Go and play your video game,” says Nice Mama to her sons. “I’m going to clean your room for you today.”
“Oh cool! Thanks,” says one son, giving mama a hug, “You’re a nice Mama.”
What he doesn’t realize is that Nice Mama, is really, Mama with Ulterior Motive, in disguise. She smiles as she sends them on their merry way, 13 gallon trash bag clenched in the fist behind her back. She walks backwards down the hall, into their bedroom and bolts the door.
The day of reckoning has come. Toys used only for mess making are tossed into lightly scented plastic oblivion. Perhaps other little boys will actually play with them.
A knock on the door causes Mama with Ulterior Motive to pause.
“Mama, whats dat sound?” boy says
“Drat!! He’s onto me!” she thinks.
Gathering her thoughts she replies, “I’m just putting some trash in a trash bag.”
She struggles to sound reassuring. She knows the boys will never miss these particular toys, but if they discover her plans there will be wailing and gnashing of teeth!
“You’re not trashing my toys right?” says five year old boy.
How in the flippin’ heck does he sense these things?
“No, not trashing them,” she says, putting perhaps too much emphasis on the word trashing.
“Go back and play your game now honey,” she instructs.
Five year old leaves. In a whirlwind effort, the remaining offending toys are added to the bag. Mama with Ulterior Motive slowly opens the bedroom door, peeks out, and seeing that the coast is clear, books it into her bedroom where she promptly stashes said bag of toys high in the closet. Daddy will take them to the car after bedtime.
Straightening her shirt and wiping the slight perspiration from her brow, Mama with Ulterior Motive smiles. She walks toward the living room, a slight spring in her step.
Originally published September 4, 2007 at summersnook.com