Dear Mom,

I really enjoy all the stories you and Dad have told me over the years, and if I look like I’m not enjoying some, I assure you it’s not due to the repetitiveness. There are a few stories I have issue with and I’ll explain why.

The story of how you could vacuum under Hubby’s crib and not wake him…

While I admire your extreme need for cleanliness, at all costs, I feel this explains why Hubby has NEVER woken up for the kids, in 5 years, even with a kick and a shove. Okay, maybe with a kick and a shove, but by then, I’m up anyway, so it doesn’t really count.

The story of how you potty trained your son in just one week…

Again, I commend your dedication. The fact that you would get up first thing in the morning and put him on the potty, where both of you sat until he went, Wow. Then going back to the potty every 15 minutes for the same wait (extending the time by 10 minutes each day), complete dedication and I am amazed. I’m sure others have used this very technique and have been quite successful, however, the fact that, at 40, your son must still sit on the “pot” first thing in the morning, “until he goes”, wasting about 45 minutes a day…not so cute.

Thirdly, and I’ll stop complaining after this. I do love you both and am extremely grateful for your son and both of you BUT…

You always share with me how you taught your son how to do laundry and iron clothes…

In truth, by not having him do these tasks for himself when he was old enough to do so, you only taught him an expectation. How to expect his clothes to look after someone else washes and irons them. Bit of bad news, I DON’T IRON!