Taylor's favorite phrase to say to me, is: "And then what did you think?" Well that, and the phrase: "No Mom, I don't want to do that right now. Here's the plan, I'll do what I want to do first and then I'll do what you want me to do. Okay Mom?"

Which brings me to my first point.

I used to think I was patient until I had kids. But now...

Well, I find it's my struggle every single day. I have to BREATHE. Sometimes very deeply. Well, not sometimes....often.

I don't know what it is about kids that makes it so hard to be patient. I mean, I've had boyfriends who required more patience than my own kids do. And yet,

Daily, Hourly...Minute by Minute, I have to breathe.

I used to think I would never make the same mistakes that my parents made. And yet, as I grow up, I realize I'm just as human as they are. And mistakes have and have yet to be made.

I used to think that I understood God. But, with seeing life happen all around me, I realize I don't understand His ways at all. I will never understand Him. But, I understand my own ways even less, and I actually am me. (Woah, that's deep.) So, rather than try to figure it all out, I will simply trust Him instead.

I used to think I wasn't worthy of being forgiven. Too many times mistakes were held over my head by others, but most often by myself. Now, in learning to forgive the people I love and seeing forgiveness being given to others, I realize that I am just as worthy as they are.

I used to think I didn't want a boy, until I had Taylor. And then even though he has kept me humble, I started to think I only wanted boys and quickly decided I didn't want a girl. But, then I had Chloe, and now I'm happy I have one of each.

I used to think I would never be close with my sisters. But now, they are some of my closest friends, and I depend on their love and friendship more than anything.

I used to think I liked jeans, but now I adore elastic.

I used to have time to think...oh those were the days.

I used to think, but all this goes to show that I really don't know much even after all that thinking.

Hmm, there is surely a lesson to be learned here, but I don't want to think anymore.


© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"