I came from a middle-class family. I don't have any friends from a higher class. They always cut me off from the beginning. I never felt comfortable with them. Mainly because their subject of talking goes over my head. I am not a person who talks to please someone. Which rich people generally don't like.
In Viqarunnisa college (Grade 11 and 12) I found a different situation. Most of the girls came from rich families. Their culture and world are totally different.
I remember in our orientation assembly a teacher pointed at me and say something to principal Hamida Ali. She shake her head in denial and the teacher stop saying anything but gave me a look.
I understood very clearly. I was the only one who was wearing a hijab inside the college. Maybe they were thinking it was a women's college, so why I was still wearing it. My point was we have lots of workers and some teachers who are male. So, I should keep it.
In the class there is always a group, who are very loud, don't care about other girls and keep doing whatever they like. In Bangla kind of gunda bahini. They didn't like me because I wasn't someone who showed any extra respect to them.
As I told you I was exceptional in look because of my hijab. So, everybody somehow keeps watching me. They made me feel like I came from a different planet. Some asked, do you wear this at home, do you wear it in front of family members, do you wear them when you take a bath, what do you do in the bathroom, etc. Sometimes I answered, sometimes I became speechless with the questions of these rich Muslims. These girls only knew after death they will need a Moulana to process to go to the grave.
That gunda girls use to make fun of me. They use to laugh loudly. I kept my poker face. But deep inside, I was bullied and ruined.
I felt I am in the wrong place. I am a quiet type of person, but these people made me totally shut down. I just went to college and wait when can I come back home. I was never good in study, but the situation make me totally out of the textbook. Because those remind me of my college.
Our college had so many opportunities to do extra curriculum activities, I never think to try them, I even didn't try to know the options. I felt those are for that kind of girl, I won't fit anywhere.
I remember someone asked me about a girl, she said, she also studies in the Viqarunnisa, she looks like this, etc. I even didn't try to figure out who this was, I knew I don't know anyone. So, with a name or description, I am not going to recognize anyone. Later I understood she was talking about a girl who sits just beside me! I even don't know her name. The girl was surprised and looked at me in shock for 1 minute.
My life became a mess. I didn't do good in HSC. I had got somehow 67% marks. That gave some impact on my university study.
I have expended my worse time in life in this college.