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Happy Anniversary of my 32nd Birthday!

I adore being in my thirties.

To be honest I appreciate my birthday a little bit more every year. It’s not a huge deal to me per say but I’m happy that my mom brought me in to this world. My birthday falls either on or around Mother’s Day which has waaaaaay more significance to me.

I do like when the the days are spanned out so I can milk it a little bit longer.

Why yes I take advantage of it, wouldn’t you?

I don’t mind being spoiled.

I do a helluva lot and I deserve a damn break, some pampering here and there and I won’t apologize for it.

I homeschool therefore I am with the boy 24/7, cooking food, cleaning up after dirty boys, chauffeuring the boy to activities and field trips, cleaning up puke and the aftermath splatters, killing alien spiders, decoupaging fuzzy butts junk, explaining things to the boy that I don’t want to and now we both need shock therapy, dealing with crazy meth neighbors SO if I want to sleep in my new Coach shoes and bag I will AND I want to be petted!

The jewelry industry (when Phil was in it) killed the joy of my birthday and Mother’s Day for far too long. Zales, Kays and Friedmans (now bankrupt) can SUCK IT!

I’m taking it back and I don’t want your diamond heart pendant that looks like lopsided boobies Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman! I want a glass of wine and mommy porn (50 Shades of Grey).

By now you are wondering what I’m loving



Funny Birthday Ecard: I find it hard to believe your entire body was in a uterus at one point.

Funny Mother's Day Ecard: May your mom not be too busy pleasuring herself to Fifty Shades of Grey to celebrate Mother's Day with you.


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