Why is it when you have one or multiple kids of the same sex that people feel the need to tell you that you just have to have the other, too? Is it not common knowledge that women don’t get to choose what they’re having? Why does it matter to anyone else if I have a boy or girl anyway?! Seriously, what satisfaction do they get out of it? They aren’t going to comment “OMG I wish you would’ve had a girl!” when you post that first picture of your son on Facebook so really, who f*cking cares?
I get it, some people really want and try for that boy or girl they so desperately want and for many different reasons, so I’m sensitive to that, but what does that even mean anyway? To try and have a boy or girl? Like, what? I did find some hilarious “tips and tricks” to try and conceive a child of a specific sex, though. LOL just head over to Google and have yourself a chuckle. Spoiler Alert: Having sex under a full moon doesn’t guarantee a girl and missionary position doesn’t make sperm swim faster. I’m pretty okay if I don’t end up with 57 kids just because everyone wanted me to “try” and have a girl.
So, back to why I don’t need a daughter. First of all, my boys keep me busy as f*ck. Seriously, I consider going to work as my “break” during the week. Aaaand the occasional weekends when they get shipped to grandma and grandpa’s because I want to drink a little more wine than usual. (I promise, their grandparents really do ask to keep their grandkids overnight, so back up Judgy McJudgerson.) My kids don’t sit for more than 3 seconds so there would definitely not be time for Barbie’s playhouse in our home.
I don’t think I’d even know what to do with a girl in the first place. I didn’t get into the “girly” stuff until later on in high school. I was heavily involved in sports and most of my friends were boys. I’m pretty sure I begged for a Mongoose BMX-looking bike with pegs for my birthday when I was like 12, so if that tells you anything. And truthfully, I’d be terrified that I wouldn’t be able to connect with my daughter given my childhood and not-so-girly lifestyle. (That’s a real fear by the way, and I’m totally fine with avoiding it at all costs.)
Plus, girl shit is just a lot of f*cking unnecessary accessories. I still struggle to do my own hair, I borrow jewlery from my mom, and I Pinterest different outfits before I go shopping because I seriously don’t know the first thing about fashion. Except my Michael Kors bag from TJMaxx – WHOOP WHOOP! Have you seen how many things come with just a single Barbie or doll?! Those are absolutely getting sucked up by my Dyson without question. I actually give props to girl moms because I don’t know how you keep up with the bows, sparkles, and latest trends. Not to mention teaching her how to act like a lady. Even my own momma will tell you I could probably take some etiquette classes. I am positive I would be setting my daughter up for failure.
Lastly, I’m not sure I even want a daughter, or any more kids for that matter. Having a daughter wouldn’t make my family “complete.” It would just make it different. I don’t need a “mini-me” because if she was anything like me, she’d never leave my sight and end up hating me anyway. I also have zero interest in playing with dolls and shitty make-up that would end up in my carpet, or the evil mean girl drama when she’s in school. (I’d most definitely be “that” mom and go ham on some 14 year-old, so I’m really doing everyone a favor by not having any girls.)
I love being a boy mama and I love being “outnumbered.” Someone send for help if I do have a daughter, but for now I’ll stick to nerf guns, football, and suing my IUD company if I get pregnant again.