Hey everyone, I am revisiting this post I did some time ago because I heard a disturbing story on the radio last week that touched on kids sleeping with their parent(s), specifically what age is too old for them to climb into bed with you.
I originally posted this back in 2013!
I ran into this article today and it peaked my interest with a topic I've thought about for a while.This article in the Stir about Co-Sleeping (click for the link) speaks on parents, especially mothers, sleeping with their babies. Ms. Velez gives us a breakdown of the pros of this arrangement. In reading this article, I was brought back to the following;
I was having a casual conversation the other day with some mommies and one of them bought up that her spouse was mad at her because their three year old climbed into bed a few nights before and she let her stay and that its been happening every night ever since.
I listened carefully then asked her how helpful did she believe she was really being to her little girl’s bed time issues and to her connection with her spouse. She looked at me in surprise. I proceeded to suggest and explain that I see no good ever in children sleeping in their parent’s bed. Regardless of the issue, especially, at the age of three. If the child feels scared or is ill I suggest you go into their space and soothe them by expressing how things will be fine and so on. Your bedroom is your private space with your mate. It should never become a “family” room. There is a difference between let’s gather and watch a movie and let me sleep with my parents. Parents should set boundaries; it will benefit them in the long run.
This is me today!
The story I heard a few days ago on the radio referenced to an eleven year old boy who's parents had recently divorced and apparently he was having issues sleeping. He would go into his mother's room and climb into bed with her and she was totally cool with it. Many listeners said absolutely no way, a few said perhaps she was missing her x and the son was filling the empty space and a few said it was ok until they both got use to their new lives. My perspective is, he is eleven. If he is feeling sad, lonely, anxious etc...have him come into your room that is ok but make it like a sleep over and put down some blankets etc so he can sleep on the floor or sleeping bag.
Sure some of us watch television or talk and hang out with our older kids in our beds but to sleep with them after a certain age I think is way too much. I would even go as far as giving them my bed and I'll sleep on the blankets and/or sleeping bag if sense of security is what you need.
What do you think? Is Co-Sleeping something you would do in your home? What is an appropriate age for your child(ren) to still sleep with you? Does your response change whether you are single or married? Please share your thoughts.
Always stress free xo,