Anyone who has ever read my blog knows that I am a super advocate of
sisterhood. I think that cat fights between women are ridiculous and
that if we all spent a lot more time being real and supporting each
other, life would be so much better for all of us. Why does it always
have to be a competition? My kid does this, does yours? My husband
makes this much money, what does yours make? My house is bigger than
yours. It truly is a pissing contest for women! I can keep the house
immaculate, my kids listen to everything I say, sleep in their own
beds, go to bed at a reasonable hour with no drama, they are reading at
a 5th grade level @ the age of four, I eat but can not gain weight, my
husband just keeps getting better looking, and my kids are absolute
perfection, did I mention they eat absolutely everything I put in front
of them. The laundry seems to do itself, I love to cook gourmet meals
for every meal, I am completely organic, I made all the baby food and
my babies only wore cloth diapers and drank organic, non tainted by
caffeine or alcohol breasts milk. P.S. My shit doesn't stink! I live in
a mansion on the corner of bliss and perfection...or was that
delusional and insanity? And you? OK, Bree friggin Van de
are not real, you are some convoluted conjuring of what some crazy tv
exec thought real life is...not even in the 1950's, my
sister!If we'd stop trying to make the other Mommies think we have it
all under control without even breaking a sweat, maybe, just maybe we'd
have some back up in the trenches instead of one more enemy trying to
kill our spirits and crush our souls!

So, as if that is not bad enough, that we are all running around lying to each other about how perfect and easy our lives are, we are
inadvertently (or maybe purposefully) making other women (Mommies
,specifically) feel like they are losers because they don't think life
is easy or perfect and neither are their kids and their husband. I mean
,myself, I've actually winced at the prospect of having to go to the
grocery store, been brought to tears trying to figure out what the hell
to wear out in public to drop my kids off at some class or other, the
dishes make me want to kill someone ( actually just myself..I truly
hate dishes!I am not above existing on paper products!), my girls still
miraculously end up in our bed in the middle of the night, I have
actually been reduced to feeding them cereal for dinner (only once..I
promise)....though, I must confess, my kids are pretty
me! All kids are perfect to their parents! My point is my fellow
desperate housewives, we would not all be so damn desperate if we could
all just get along! Next time you feel overcome with the need to blow
crazy smoke up your own ass, in a coffee induced fog of meanness,
Please remember that Mommy that you are making feel 2 inches tall would
probably serve you better as a cheerleader than as a doormat!

PSA: Please be kind to your fellow Mommies! She is not your enemy, she is your sister, your friend, your confidant, your tether to sanity!

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