Here's a question. When was the last time you were unapologetically yourself? When was the last time you felt something in your gut and just went for it? You didn't hesitate, you didn't consider another person's opinion, you didn't waiver on whether or not it was the right choice for you? Has it been that long that you don't even know who the real You is anymore?
In my field of employment, I run into a lot more people who are feeling shitty about their lives than I feel is normal. People who are constantly complaining about what they do, why they do it, and who they are doing it for. I get that life isn't always roses but you are so miserable that you gripe about everything every day? Wouldn't you at some point get tired and do something to change your circumstances? Apparently not.
I was driving around Williamsburg, Brooklyn the other night with a huge smile on my face remembering my grandmother, my baby #2. It's been over a year that she transitioned but some days it feels like it was just yesterday. I think about the huge responsibility I had caring for a person with Alzheimers and how draining of my energies some of those days were. I'd have days I look at myself in the mirror and not recognize myself. Until one day I made a choice, I could let this circumstance ride me or I could ride it.
I made a choice to handle this journey my way. I decided to stop listening to all the advice and do what felt right for me. Of course, people may mean well but if they are not in your shoes they can't walk your walk. They will never be as invested as you are so you might as well make your journey your own. Even if this advice is coming from "family", from those that say they love you. You have to own your own shoes.
Don't be Afraid to show up as Yourself. Don't be afraid to do things the way you want to do them. I listened to Will Smith's Podcast on Tidal over the weekend and he said one amazing thing. He said that when his father transitioned and he realized he was "the man" of the house now he decided he would run it in his own way. Not in the way his father ran things, not in an authoritative manner like he was raised, but in a way that felt "authentic" to himself. How freakin great is that? And omg how freeing can it be, I know I have also done it.
Our parents do the best they can with what they know or so I like to think and it is up to each individual to do better once they know better. Stop repeating the cycle of following and begin to own up to leading. Begin to question, begin to explore other possibilities that were never presented to you. Adults have no excuse not to be happy I don't care what anyone says. Now if "happy" to you equals mounds of money, then that is sad in itself. We all want financial freedom but that can and should never be what you hold onto for happiness.
Don't be Afraid to show up as Yourself. I always share my perspective of remaining childlike in all things we do so we don't forget joy. Joy in the little things, joy in the people we surround ourselves with, joy in the life we are creating or are currently dealing with. Choice. It is a powerful thing and once you begin to use it there are endless possibilities. To be authentic in all you do is freedom. So don't worry about:
-exercising too much
-wearing tight jeans
-not wearing tight jeans
-having and enjoying sex with your partner or whomever
-not having kids
-having more than two kids
-eating a piece a cake
-having a drink to celebrate if you choose
-not wearing makeup
-staying in bed all day
-working a 9 to 5
-NOT working a 9 to 5
-going out to dinner and leaving the kid(s) at home
-buying yourself something nice
-not picking up the phone
-not following your friend on social media
-being single and loving your freedom
-choosing NOT to get married but starting your family
-being married and wanting to stay at home with your kids
Be your authentic Self, do what makes you jump for joy and walk around with a smile on your face. Don't hide behind what others expect, expect more from and for Yourself. Draw outside the lines, say NO more often and have fun with it. Be happy! Wake up with a smile, go to bed with a smile. Live in peace in your own skin. When the end of your journey is here what would you want your thoughts to be? Flashbacks of someone else's life or Your Life?
Sharing your thoughts, do you agree most people are not showing up as their authentic selves or do you feel that in life you just do what you have to do to get by? What has been your experience?
Always stress-free xo