Today marks a landmark day. My 3 month old falls asleep on his own. Words cant describe the happy feeling I have. One year ago today I definitely would not have seen myself where I am today. I was a care free 22 year old going out to bars, working late nights as a waitress, doing whatever I pleased. Now I am married with a little bundle of joy.
Reflecting on what used to be my life, I miss it. Yet, how can I not enjoy every moment that goes on in the present? They say having a child is the best thing that has ever happened to you. Honestly I have yet to feel that feeling. I miss doing what I want. Having a kid is a 100% commitment to another human being. Completely putting their needs above your own. Yes, there are so many times where I think to myself "I love being a mom, how could I ever regret this?" or something like "where would I be without my little man?"....but all those other times where I just cant stand getting up in the middle of the night when I am in a deep deep sleep just to put a pacifier back in. Or how about holding a pee in for so long that it hurts just so I can rock my baby to sleep without starting all over again. No one ever tells you of all the little sacrifices you will make on a daily basis.
Yes. I confess, I miss my old non mommy life style. But would I change what I have for it? NEVER. I am constantly learning new things about my boy and myself. Its all a part of growing up.
So to all those new or soon to be young mommas out there. You can do it. It wont be easy but.....it will be worth it. And it is okay to miss your life before a baby. But dont dwell on it. Stay focused on the now and the future of your baby. For if you focus so much on what you miss, you will miss what is going on right in front of you.
A mom who has been there, felt that and woken up to what really matters.