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LEARNING CORNER

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Go the eff to sleep--nighttime shenanigans.

Sleep is magical, refreshing, blissful, and--well, I don't quite remember because it's been so long since I've gotten first hand experience. Stick a fork in me I'm done. I can't...I just...sigh. Here's a complimentary backstage pass for a look into the goings on at the Repiscak abode, specifically at bedtime. Liam is sleeping like a normal 5 month old baby would, or at least, what I consider to be normal. What's that like you ask? Bed around 8pm, awake a few hours later, ravenously searching for the milk tap, 'simma down child, you JUST ate like twenty minutes ago.' Or at least it feels that way. He starts the night out in the pack n' play next to my bed, but night after night, manages to sweet talk me into letting him come in my bed. Can't resist the cuteness, and it's easier for all parties involved---all you can eat buffet for baby, a little more sleep for mama---see? Easier for all. Off to sleep we go. What's that? Oh, you're awake again? Feeling like death and strangely like a cow, we do the old switch a roo. Liam cozies up to his bosom buddy for the next sleep stint, and off we go to dream land. 'Sure would be a nice surprise if you slept all through the night for mommy.' No? You're not feeling that? Okay, great. See you soon.--- Lather, rinse, repeat. All. Night. Long.

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Just as a friendly reminder, you may want to hold off on the whole drinking water before bed deal; Especially if you're going to be partaking in a dance with the diaper devil all night. Seriously people, do you have any idea how difficult it is to try and escape your own bed at 4am with a screaming bladder? I often find myself in the dead of night, contorting my body in ways that lead me to truly believe I was a cast member of Cirque de Soleil in my former life. I attempt to pull my arm, which is most likely numb and dead from being laid on half the night, from underneath the pillow. Next is the 'creepy crawl'. The best way to explain this move is to envision yourself trying to walk on water---except you're not on water, you're on a mattress--and if said mattress is squeaky, then well...I can't help ya, but I sure can high five ya! *wink, wink*

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Now, if you've managed to make it this far without waking the baby, you're pretty much golden. Just one more step to go, and it's home free to pee-pee city! Just as I begin to slowly steam roll myself off the bed...BAM! Too caught up in the midnight calisthenics, I failed to realize I was already at the edge of the bed. Silly me for underestimating how big a queen size bed actually is and how much space a 5 month old baby actually occupies. Good thing the floor broke my fall. So what do I do now? Well, since I've managed to become a bull in a china shop at 4am, my only option is to take Liam on a little road trip to pee-pee city with me (as to not wake up the rest of the house with him crying), and we drift back off to sleep. At least for a couple more hours.

Just as I'm finally getting comfortable, I hear it. I hear the screams and the crying from the next room.  Panic sets in: Here we go again. Normally I wouldn't mind if my daughter, my toddler, my sweet little Ella woke up, and needed mama's comfort every once in a while. We're not talking about every once in a while here. Oh no, no, no. I'm talking Every.Single.Night, multiple times, since June! JUNE!! Who? What? When? Where? And why, God? Please God, WHY!!!?? So again I ask, why must we do the late night meet and greets? The best part here, said in pure sarcasm, is that she acts like I'm some asshole standing outside her door, just waiting, and begging for the opportunity to wake her. What? No. I go in to quiet her down and not even 3 minutes later, she is crying and demanding me to put her back to bed. So really, what are we doing here, child? I gently lay her back down, give her a kiss goodnight. I pull the covers up, lean in real close, and whisper in the softest, most loving tone I could muster up---'go the eff to sleep. Okayloveyougoodnight!'

All the nighttime crises are averted. I am finally able to sprawl out in my queen sized bed, and enjoy seven hours of uninterrupted sleep---HA, just kidding. The baby was up 30 minutes after his sister went back down. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Oh, and if anyone needs a Christmas gift idea for my family, I promise this book would be read, and loved on a nightly basis. Thanks in advance ;)

Award-Winning Best Seller
Award-Winning Best Seller

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