When my son was born, not only did my life change, it also made him a part of me. I acquired skills that I had never had and my priorities and my vision of the world were transformed. Do you feel the same way?
The first time I realized that motherhood was going to have irreversible effects on me, I was in a restaurant.
The pain of the contractions and the concern about the health of the baby I was about to see for the first time did not prevent me from feeling full of energy, very happy and strangely almighty.
I was surprised not to experience fear or anxiety, emotions that have accompanied me during a large part of my adult life and that had disappeared completely during pregnancy.
My brain, my son and I
Some studies say that the brain of the mother decreases during pregnancy. Do not be alarmed or think that dark theories of old male neurologists are the same: the same thesis assures that six months after giving birth the brain will have recovered its size. Moreover, the mother will have greater capacity for concentration, it will be smarter and you can love better.
It seems that this transitory decrease in volume helps restructuring the brain and increases neuronal connections in certain areas, especially those dealing with emotional memory.
Areas of protection and efficiency
The neuropsychiatrist Louan Brizendine, one of the greatest experts in the brain differences of men and women, explains it very well: "It is a phenomenon related to the secretion of hormones that regulate affective bonds, whose most surprising effect is the great development of the area of protection and efficiency."
It is true that since I am a mother I feel more effective and stronger, more courageous and resilient, and also more sensitive to the pain of others. Maybe because having a child not only creates a bond with him, but also a thread that links you to the future and commits you to the world in which that child is to live.
All mothers will recognize these experiences: wake up to the slightest movement of your baby, recognize your crying among others with your eyes closed, know just by looking at something wrong or confirm with a touch that is getting sick.
Mother super powers
That feeling that you have suddenly acquired superpowers or a sixth sense has a biological explanation. When a mother touches her baby and he touches her, she receives very subtle, but very powerful information about how her little one is, what she feels and how her relationship with him is. This has an effect at the brain level and establishes a special bond between mother and child.
Importance of the tribe
The American pedagogue William Damon says that mothers become more sociable beings, in line with the African proverb that says that to educate a child you need the entire tribe.
Affirms that the chances of survival of a baby increase significantly when the mother has help within their group, so unconsciously, enhances their social skills. In his book Greater expectations, he recognizes the need for a network of community institutions and values for the education of children. All this starting with the family.
Your link with the world
By becoming mothers, we become not only the person on whom the survival of our child depends, but also the one who will shape the way he / she will deal with the world and with others.
And to do well this task you need superpowers.
The change in dads
The birth of a child also changes the father. Your brain secretes greater amounts of estrogen, oxytocin, prolactin and glucocorticoids, which contribute to the establishment of affective relationships.
It's interesting to note that the more time the father spends with his son, the more his affective capacities increase.
I could go on and on but suffice it to say that my daughter has changed my life and that of my husband's for the better. I have a new perspective on life, started a blog, and can only send my love and well wishes to all the new mothers out there!