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How to remain calm when your kids Talk back to you

There comes a moment in all parents lives when your kid loses his/her mind and talks back to you. It happens in a flash but how you deal with it shortly after will set the tone for the rest of your life and will affect how you continue to build your connection.

How to remain calm when your kids talk back to you, is that even possible? Sure we see some parents laugh this scene off or even act as if it really isn't happening but that is definitely not the way to go and it sure isn't a sign that you are calm and cool.

You start getting a glimpse of this parenting test early on, it's called Tantrums. How you deal with this now will help you later when the actual words start to come out.

  • take a deep breath
  • if possible remove yourself and your child from the scene
  • if you aren't able to remove yourself fully, excuse yourself and find a quiet corner
  • avoid raising your voice but make it clear that behavior is unacceptable
  • do not give in just to soothe the scene and avoid being embarrassed, weakness is not an option
  • address the matter quickly by simply stating you make the rules but you can and will discuss it later at home.

And do discuss it quickly! Use age appropriate language in your conversation be respectful of their feelings and point of view but make it clear that under no circumstance is it ever appropriate for them to raise their voice or talk back to you when they are not in agreement. That is not the way to get what you want at that moment or in life. Address why you made that choice at that moment and let them know that they can always disagree with you but must express it in a different fashion. Hopefully, you have taught them by this point the basics of mutual respect. Respectful communication doesn't mean that as a parent you must run your decisions through your child, it just means that you are open to discussions and willing to always communicate your feelings.

Most parents fail when they hold onto the idea that they rule. Their word goes, their rules don't bend. But successful parenting as well as successful relationships in general, work best when there is room to adjust, add and even remove. There is no age limit for this, the better we communicate the better the results.

How to remain calm when your kids talk back to you is not simple or easy but totally doable. Don't get hung up on people are watching you, you're a terrible parent, etc. etc. Focus instead on the lesson that can be learned at that moment. Choose the route that will have long term effects, not a quick fix.

What do you think? Is it possible to remain calm in this sort of situation? Does communication start young or does what mommy and daddy say go, always? Share your opinion and stories here with me.

Always stress-free xo,

Mari

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