How You Become a Cool Mom Through a Recipe of Presence and Patience

Becoming a cool mom will depend on your own determination to do so. Therefore, I am only able to share tips from a personal perspective of being a mom. It is not so much about researching the topic, but asking yourself some questions and answering them from how you felt when you were the ages of your children.

Furthermore, like you were as a child, your children are a growth chart until adulthood. And so, their likes and dislikes along with how they feel about certain things will change through this process. When you start to try to relate more to your children, you will need to remember yourself at their age and constantly change the way you see the world. Since you have been in their shoes, it should not be so hard to grasp how to do this.

The Two Main Rules When Parenting is Being Present and Patient

Even though back in your day, you probably had different trends than your children do today, it will still only take a little effort on your part to know how to have a productive conversation with them. For instance, if you never had a brother, but you now have a son, what he might be thinking and feeling will be somewhat different than you as a girl his age. Even so, a little patience and presence will help tremendously.

Ask yourself these questions about patience and presence:

  • Do I make myself available to my kids at all times?
  • When my children are disobedient, do I show patience, or do I lose control?
  • Do I initiate conversation enough with my children?
  • Do my kids see me as someone they can talk to about anything that may be going on in their lives?

The above list is crucial while parenting and becoming that "cool mom" that you are hoping to be. When I think back to growing up around my mom, I did not want a best friend; I wanted a best mom. Someone who could encourage me when I was discouraged. Someone who could guide when I was lost. A person who was interested in the things I was interested in because I was interested in them. Someone who was present and patient and allowed me to grow by being myself. That is the real recipe to becoming a cool mom.

Being Relatable While Staying Real

For me, I made sure to pay attention to my children. This is where research may play a role in being a cool mom. An example of this would be, if my son loved trucks, then I would research just enough about them so I could ask him questions that he enjoyed answering, and in return, I, as his mom, would enjoy listening to his knowledge on the subject. I would do the same with my daughter with her interests.

Although we want to be the safety net for our kids, there will also be times that we need to be a sustaining force. You should have rules to follow and if your kids start to defy those rules, then it is okay not to be awesome in order to make them aware of their disobedience. You do not have to scream your anger out to them, but instead, be firm and have a discipline plan prepared for these times that will, no doubt, arise. Another thing I have learned is that they will appreciate it later.

After the dust is settled and they are not so mad at you for the punishment anymore, take the opportunity to sit down and explain to them why you needed to punish them. Make sure you always follow-up a bad day with a positive conversation. Remember you are not their peer; you are their parent.

Becoming a Cool Mom is About Being a Mom - Not a Friend

When you start to think about how you could become a "cool mom," instead of a mom that they will resent as adults, you need to realize it is not about being a best friend and letting them do whatever they want while you ignore them. It is about constant encouragement, unconditional love, being available when they need you, and accepting their individuality. Be the right kind of mom and you will succeed at being cool in their eyes.

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