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Apparently last week was National Marriage week. I ,myself, was so deep
in the throes of actually being in a Marriage that it completely
escaped me. Well, to be honest, I never knew there was such a thing.
But to be fair, I think it is a wonderful idea. I mean if we can
celebrate Veterans Day and President's Day, we can surely give some
credit for those of us who have maintained a long and happy marriage,
or maybe I should say those of us who make the decision daily to stick
with it and be there and grow together through the thick and thin.Yes,
that is marriage. It is choosing your best friend and planning a life
together.It's not always like it was in the beginning, with all that
new car smell and the fancy bells and whistles but it is definitely a
worthwhile investment, if you choose wisely. It has come to my
attention lately that most of my single friends have a similar response
for why they are not yet married ( not that everyone needs to be
married but these people I speak of have been close but never closed
the deal) it seems that they expect it to always be in the "I can't
keep my hands off you, you're the most awesome thing in the world,
every moment I see you is like a Fijian sunset" phase. I know, my
married friends reading this are chuckling and my single friends are
saying , "yeah, so what?" The fact of the matter is this, that phase
doesn't not stay around ( not at that intensity level) but something
deeper evolves. It may not appear like my husband and I can't live
without one another every second of every day but let me tell you..once
you've been through several years of marriage, children being born,
several moves, births, deaths, the entire world changing around
you..you become one anothers beacon of love and hope. You are one
anothers home. You are the place where the other can go and let down
their guard and be the self they are when they are alone but they get
to share it..with you.I wouldn't trade the look in his eyes that I get
now for the look that I got when we were two college hotties living to
jump one anothers bones. No way! Now, he looks at me in awe...like I am
amazing. He knows the fortitude and strength it takes to do what I do.
To be the mother of his children, to love him no matter what, to get
the things done that need to be done but he also knows that when I get
dressed up and do my hair, nails, make up and we are alone, I can still
be that girl in college. Its just that now, I keep him fed,clothed,
make our house our home, and I am his. I still see him and want to jump
his bones and he does mine, as well...just now its not the only thing
that we feel and see when we look at one another.

I'm not knocking my single friends, I just feel like if they are expecting the new car smell in a relationship to last forever..or worse
yet, passing up happiness in search of that metaphoric "new car smell",
they may be missing out on something wonderful. I have a theory about
marriage, it relates to the housing market ( I have houses on the
brain, since I've been searching for the past 6 months). Getting
married is like buying a house, you find that house that you want to
make your home and want to live forever. In reality, you may not live
there forever but while you are there, it is a good investment. You
make it your home, you create memories, you live and grow there.
Someday, you may have to sell or want to upgrade but that home was a
positive, wonderful thing in your life. It may have been where you had
your children, or where you grew up yourself. It is where you lived the
seasons of your life in love and security. Now, perpetual dating is
like renting an apartment. You have a small commitment, no equity
invested, and you can leave and upgrade or change apartments at anytime
on a whim. There is no reason to stick out the rough times when the
pipes are leaking, or the apartment no longer suits your furniture or
lighting tastes. You simply walk away.

I personally hate apartment living, because I have lived in a house. Maybe I was meant to live in a house, but I need to be somewhere that
is mine and I can invest my life , my time, my heart, and my sweat and
tears into.Plus, as a sidebar, just a reminder, my single friends, its
easier to break a lease than to sale a house:)

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