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In Bangladesh, there is some common activity, before getting married. One of them is to get information about the future bride or groom. Generally, people go to that girl’s/boy’s area and ask neighbours about them. Or to those people who may know about the future bride or groom. Whatever those neighbour or people said, people believe it. Sometimes they break the relation on basis of this information. There are no further queries or validation checks about that info.

 

The reality is, you don’t know these informers. Are they reliable? Are they telling you the truth? Whatever proof they are showing, are those good enough to decide? NO. But who cares? You will find another girl or boy for your family.

 

What happens, many times you get the wrong information. People basically don’t want any good for others. They feel jealous of every single good step in another's life. So, whenever they get a chance, they spread false information.

 

Some are different. They don’t want to make any harm to others. So, even if they knew something, they just hide it and say something good so that the new relation doesn’t get hampered.

 

So, either way, you will get the wrong information.

 

Some people want to make themselves important. So, they create some new information and present it as a very important truth.

 

How can you rely on these people’s information? You can ask. But try to verify that information. Before making a final decision ask the girl/boy directly. Let them have a chance to clear themselves out.

 

I can give you an example. Someone asked our neighbour about our older sister. That neighbour also has a daughter who was studying with my sister. So, the person thought, the neighbour might give her good information about my sister. The neighbour said, my sister, got second division in SSC. Then the person said, but I heard she has got star marks! The neighbour became angry and replied, “What happens if she has stars, she had passed in second division!” We would never know about our neighbour’s mentality if that person didn’t ask us about it.

 

The reality is my sister has got star marks in SSC. And got placed 13th in HSC. None of our family ever got Second Class in SSC.

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