I get sad, I cry and I certainly have faced depression many more times than once; it is fricking horrible to say the very least! It comes and goes; usually triggered when balancing bills with a budget that can never seem to stretch far enough and because I am nuts about tidiness and I never could have imagined how messy kids really are - I am an only child so growing up everything was organised, polished and spotless.
For years I have insisted there should be no clothes or toys on the floor, no juice stains in front of the fridge, school bags straight to the hooks, books on the book shelves etc etc - and of course it never happens or doesn't last long. A mother would send herself absolutely crazy if she does not expect to see disarray every day for the rest of her life - and I think I went crazy a few times - I had to learn to let it go or I would have never moved on in life without being chased by constant depression.
I can actually go to bed now with dirty dishes in the sink (although the thought still haunts me through the night) but I am learning to let it go.
I have been practicing patience and reminding myself that time passes quickly so I should spend it loving my children for being children and know how quickly they will all be grown and leaving home one by one to make their own lives and families. Concentrating on my blessings and finding little ways to remember each one everyday, even in my darkest moments - so that I can just smile, even a small smile. When you can train yourself to smile genuinely through gratitude for what you have it can really lighten the burden of stress and/or depression.
There are always tiny things that bring sunshine in to my life even on dark days, but it can take a crap-load of effort to attempt to find happiness during moments of despair or feelings of failure. They say "laughter is the best medicine" and that is indeed true - but when even a laugh commands more effort than you are willing to give during these moments - I have found that it is first best to at least find your smile.
Believe it or not, you can still smile and find happiness without being a millionaire - they get stressed and depressed too. There are easy, simple ways to smile everyday, so pick just one and smile today, be determined to be happy.
#1. 5 Minutes of Comedy
This is easy enough, YouTube a fee minutes of stand-up comedy, or.sit down and watch a funny old film. Take 5 minutes and read jokes online, enjoy this moment - heck, take 10 minutes if you can spare it.
#2. Family Whatsapp or chat group
My girls created a whatsapp group that we can share jokes, inspirational reading and old family pics with each-other. We limit technology use as much as wr can in our house but when the girls do earn some internet time we use the whatsapp family group to keep each one motivated and provide a positive outlet for them when online. It is kind of like a parent-in-the-pocket lol.
#3. Blessings Calendar
Print a blank calendar (perhaps one for each family member) and have everyone write one thing each day before bedtime that they are grateful for which took place that day. You can do this before bedtime each night and then at the end of the month or the week (or whenever you want to) you can look back and see all the wonderful things you have happening in your life everyday. After doing this for one whole year you would have compiled a list of 365 daily blessings.
There are many ways to find happiness and make smiling become a daily part of your life. We all have bad days and worst than bad days - but we are built strong and there are many outlets for releasing some pressure and working towards a happier life. I have to remind myself to be happy some days, I have to really pause and curse myself for complaining over things I know I can handle. We have to breath deep and smile; give it all we've got, especially as a mother. This is not just my life I am fighting for, I may have given up a long time ago if I was only breathing for me. Life is more beautiful everyday because of my children, each of them is a reason to smile, but in the madness of life some days it is important to slow down and remember all that is important to you and take a moment to appreciate it as it is.
Life can fight back sometimes, it makes this battle so much easier when you have a bag of tricks to just find your smile and be happy through it!
What do you do to help with those unhappy moments? Maybe a fresh slice of cheesecake lol, that's my escape some days. I would love to hear your tips too so please share one quickly in the comments so we can help each-other.
Peace and love,