I dare say that the feeling of failure will affect every person at least once in their life – whether it is losing a race in kindergarten or not passing an exam in university, we will all experience this saddening reaction to some life event at some point and it sucks (to say the least).
There will be many days in life that we feel “not good enough”, or become convinced that we will not be able to accomplish a goal we set out to do…
It is hard to accept failure, it is sometimes hard to move on and even harder to start over if that is what has to be done.
Getting pass the initial reaction of feeling like a failure when something did not work out the way you wished it would have can take a hefty dose of self-control and boost of confidence and strength. Feeling like a failure is often the first sense of emotion felt before sinking in to a nasty depression that only self-motivation and simple techniques can ease you out of.
We cannot always look within us to find the strength and confidence we need to overcome a trial like feeling as if we failed at everything.
It can take numerous pep talks from trusted friends and family or even something quick and easy like reading a blog post (imagine that!). If things have gotten really bad, never allow yourself to feel ashamed about speaking with professionals or even taking courses to help you build back up your self esteem and remove the self doubt and feelings of failure from your mind.
As we each may eventually discover, feelings of failure come at differing levels – like failing that kindergarten race was pretty minor and I can bet your parents would have cheered you up five minutes later with your favorite candy or ice cream – there, it’s all over. Feelings of failure such as starting your own business and running in to debt and having to shut the whole show down – that can be a huge blow to self esteem and 100%, total feeling of failure.
One of the most important thing to remember when going through a tough emotional period is to remember that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
There is always someone, somewhere feeling the same way that you are and wanting the same emotional comfort that you might be yearning for too.
In fact, some of the biggest “failures” have been people who are right now in the list of the world’s most successful entrepreneurs and entertainers! Seeing them now we can hardly imagine that at some point in their life – they FAILED – and failed miserably!
Many failed big time, probably bigger than any of us have ever failed; remember Jim Carrey and Tyler Perry who were both at one point totally and completely homeless in every sense of the word?
I am sure you know who these two guys are.
It is amazing what we humans can achieve when we do not allow failure to drag us completely in to the depths of absolute despair while refusing to triumph forward.
Failing at one thing can be the open doorway that we needed in order to see the opportunity on the other side that we had never considered.
Failure can many times provide us the strength and experience that was missing from our initial effort so that when we do get off the floor we are ready to charge ahead.
Failure to properly manage a sudden financial reward in one instance can provide us that keen wisdom we need in order to ensure all goes well when such an opportune moment arises again in future.
The failure of one marriage can very often lead a person to meet and marry their soul mate after the turmoil and madness of the broken marriage and divorce before.
Nobody likes to feel like a failure or deal with the feeling of failure; in fact, we do not like to experience any negative emotion or experience – why in the world does it seem that life is 85% geared towards throwing us a bad hand?
Maybe so that we can truly appreciate the good that we do get?
It is no secret that we humans are very quick to take advantage of a good situation (check out Adam and Eve for example, geesh, why did she have to eat that blinking apple!!).
The more good we do get the more difficult it becomes to appreciate it, whereas, if we first have to face the struggle, feel the pinch of failure, lift ourselves above the rubble and trek onward through it all; when we do finally get out at the other end alive, even the littlest blessings are enough to make us smile.
Life is often never a bed of roses, and it can generally be because of failure to plan, failure to budget, failure to have patience, failure to appreciate and even failure to take time to simply love and care for oneself .
Complaining can often be a human specialty and it is sometimes true that in this life “like attracts like”. It is so important to learn how to keep your cool and to have faith in yourself no matter what.
Fighting the feeling of failure can be a battle for sure; but it is a battle that leaves us stronger when everything has passed. Taking the time to be grateful for what you do have and to remember other times in the past that you felt the same way but came through it will help with overcoming these bad moments.
Depending on the level of what you consider a failed attempt at whatever; you have to take some time for yourself to plan the way forward, consider the next steps to getting pass this stage in life.
If it was a failed investment – how bad did it hit? Are you losing your home too? Research your options, know what is available to you.
Can you stay with relatives or friends? Any refinancing available?
If it was a failed exam you should know what to do, schedule a retake if possible at a reasonable time in the future, give yourself ample time to review and get super confident with the lesson, work hard, lose sleep over it if you must.
Get on the internet and look for other people’s stories who have faced a similar situation, what did they do? How did they cope? Where are they now?
You really have to believe in yourself to get through any issue in life; but hearing a compliment or encouraging word from elsewhere can certainly provide the push it takes to get by at times as well, this is why having a strong support network of trusted people (even if you have never meant them in real life and only speak online) can be the ultimate boost in these situations.
Nobody ever said life would be easy!
It was never promised as a simple ride and the best thing to do is never think you deserve the easy way out; remember some of the world’s most successful people faced the most distressing situations, but they never gave up on themselves even if they gave up on one particular goal or dream. They still NEVER gave up on their ability to establish a life the way they wanted it to be. Their ultimate goal was obviously to succeed – and that should be your ultimate goal too!
Sometimes a business idea may fail you, but that does not make YOU the failure.
It may be an investment or getting laid of from a job that sends our lives spiraling out of control – that does not make YOU the failure, the investment failed, the job failed – you DID NOT fail.
You only fail when you completely give up, throw in the towel and discard every attempt to get the success you are looking for – don’t do it! Especially if you are a mommy or daddy and your children are watching. If you’re a parent, fail and fail again if you must – two failures or more means you are still trying regardless and THAT is what is important!
You can do this!
If I am still typing and breathing right now despite the things I have failed at, then I am more than confident that YOU have what it takes to make it through whatever you are facing as well.
May you find the peace and happiness that you seek today and tomorrow, may all the powers and resources of the universe be provided to you to succeed with the goal you have set for your life, may you gain the faith and strength to know that you are equipped with the strength and courage to fail, and fail again – but to NEVER give up and to reach your ultimate goal for happiness and success when all is said and done!
Peace and love,