Oh Husband, I really do adore you.

The way you play with the kids, say you love me

well it really does make my heart sing.

What doesn’t make my heart go pitter patter  however

is,

your snoring

Your snoring my dear, sounds like a chainsaw….in my ear

A snarling, grinding, snorting, god awful sound does come from your face

And now I sit up thinking about it

  to my dismay.

For years you denied it,

claimed “honey you’re lying”

No, no my darling you were only in denial.

For I hear your concert every night like a snoring recital

A new pillow we tried

Snore strips as well

I resorted to earplugs, but those are annoying if you could not tell

Permanent dark circles under my eyes

a Zombie Mom I’ll be.

To put up with your snoring,

oh woe is me.

So here I am typing this precious ode to you.

To you, snoring dear husband and how it makes me want to shank you.

*finger snaps*

<3 Erin