Losing friend(s) is painful. We usually ask ourselves is there something wrong with us. Or that something might be wrong with the other person. Nothing good would come out from the blame.

First of all, we are all responsible for own our life. Fully. We are the only person responsible for our thoughts and our feelings. The other person can behave that we don’t like, or we did not expect, but we are the one who would let another person hurt us in the future again, or we would protect ourselves.

I mean it’s not healthy to change negative feelings, we need to feel it. If the person hurts us is not healthy to pretend or tried to change the way how we feel. But we are responsible for us. We need to make a choice. We decide how to react or would we react at all. Some people just leave and make us thinking. But it’s also their right to do it. We have free will and the worse seen is to try to make another person act the way we would like.

I read an amazing article, and I remember one sentence that goes – I don’t want to be because I need you. I want to be with you because I want to; I feel comfortable, and I care.

Unfortunately, there is “friendship” that only exist because we might need the other person or an opposite But I wouldn’t call it friendship rather symbiosis or something like that.

When we choose a friend, we need to ask ourselves what we are looking for in particular friendship. But also we need to allow another person to be who she/he is.

In my case, I haven’t experienced friendship loss for a long time but some of my friendship had changed. Why? I am not sure. I moved from the town I was born in many years ago. If you are not there, you would not be invited anymore. I mean I talk to my friends but it’s not the same talking over the phone instead of chatting face to face. even I can ring up some of my friend at any time nad they would be thee for me.

I become a mother. Once you experienced being a mother you, totally change. I do not make any accent to it. I mean I hardly talk about my daughter (except if I am asked to ). I mean I love her the best, but I don’t want to bother people with “small” think we enjoy as parents watching her grow. I don’t mind if my friends are married or separated, are they parents or not. I don’t care for the roles. I care about them.

I found some friendship hard because some fo my friends are constantly unhappy. I am ok with comfort them once or two times, or three. But if the person tells me for the 15th times the same thing and tries to change nothing then I don’t want to listen to it anymore. I can’t change anything. The friend is one who need to reconsider her/his choices and act in some other direction. That is one of the examples I have had in my experience.

One of important think friends should be honest. If you don’t, feel ok with your friend why not to discuss it. Why be scared to say how do you feel about particular situation?

Working on my myself I realized I need to be honest about stuff no matter if the other person like it or not. I can not leave in the fear the other person might leave because she/he is not happy about what I say. Yes, some people can not stand it. They better like no comfort and peaceful environment although it’s false peace.

I look for honesty, support (when needed) and SPACE. I need space. I have space in marriage. I couldn’t leave without it. We need space to grow. We can’t grow without it.

Sometimes we just grow in different directions. It happens. That0s just the way it is. The life is about the change. Nothing is the same as it was yesterday. So sometimes if we talk to a person ten years later we might not talk with the same person we knew. We ned to learn to accept it.

When I started to work on myself, many relationship started to get changed. Some of them for the better. I found them difficult but when I found the right balance everything fit into the place.

Some of the others become difficult because I changed and prob some of my friends could not recognize me anymore. I make new connections and friendship. I like to be surrounded with people that inspire me.

I don’t feel like to be surrounded wth thought energy. It doesn’t mean I want be hear or listen to my friends, but emotions are the great indicator where we are. I am learning to listen to them.

I wasn’t listening to them at all before. I felt tired and unproductive. Now I am trying to listen to my body and soul, and I need to say that I feel much better. I still have ups and downs as everybody, but this is the very important message. Listen to your body! Listen the signs of your soul. Relax. Walk.

I use to feel if I stop I might lose control of my life. I was tired. I thought I need to do something all the time. It was wrong. I know it today. The balance is very important for the health physical and emotional health.

Don’t scared to be authentic because you are scared to lose people around you. What happens when we lose ourselves. We are the priciest gift to ourselves that God gave us. We should be aware of it all the time.

Let me know how do you cope with the change in your life. Feel free to share your experiences to the comment. I am looking forward to hearing from you.

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