Shopping with kids is zero percent fun guys...
We spend a lot of time and money at Target. We live about one minute from our local Target, it's a SUPER Target and it opens before 9 am. It is where us early bird suburban moms hang. The morning employees at our local Target basically know us by name. If we don't visit three times a week they get kind of nervous and wonder what is up. I don't like to worry them.
So today we had already been to McDonalds, the park and swim team practice by the time we hit the Target up at 10 am. The kids had been relatively content all morning and I decided to strike while the iron was hot and pick up some last minute items for our up and coming vacation, (and about 75 dollars worth of clearance shirts and shoes...because...Target.) Needless to say 75% of the kids pulled a Cybil and the second we walked through those red doors their sweet little personalities were no more. Gremlins. Angry, whiny, greedy gremlin children emerged.
"Mom, I NEEEEEED this!"
"Mom is this my size, how about this, how about this?"
"Can we leave? Can I have a toy? What day is it? What time is it? How many milli seconds til vacation?"
UGH. I know right about now you are all nodding like yeah Girl, been there...like everyday!
So today must have been National Drag-Your-Animal-Child-To-Target-Day because all of us moms seemed just about DONE. One mom had two tween moodsters in tow. She looked at me in the kids' clearance aisle and said, "I know why some parents eat their young." Ain't that the truth. Good thing I had just inhaled a ten dollar croissant from Starbucks, (love you and hate you Starbucks.)
Another mom trying to buy herself a bathing suit, (as if that isn't' painful ENOUGH looked at me, then looked at her kids and put her gun-shaped hand to her head. Yeah, shoot me while you're at it girlfriend cause this SUCKS!
As we were leaving my six year old insisted on walking directly in front of the stroller at the pace of a sloth. I told her to keep it up and I would run her right over. We passed a mom who was heavily preggers and had two babies in a stroller and one hanging off of the side. She looked pretty damn miserable as well. We passed each other, high-fived and continued on without a single spoken word. It was exactly what I needed to carry on this morning.
Suburban mom solidarity.
I am not alone. When I feel like I am drowning in the sea of motherhood I know that all I have to do is roll up into the local Target and find my peeps.
PS...I still forgot the diapers!
Twitter Handle @TinMccarthy