Teething period in Marriage are the first-five years. Within which some lapses could be pinpointed,corrected and fixed. Unresolved issues become a norm,a way of living for couples.
First year: Head over heels
The Marriage is in a cloud cuckoo land,they just can't get enough of each other. When she speaks,he pays rapt attention to what is being said. They are seen almost everywhere: cheek by jowl, they serve couple goal to neighbors and she is thankful their meeting propelled him to pop the big question.
Mary and Ben have been married for 15 years and counting. In an interview Mary granted to Mimahdairy, she talked about their teething period.
" In our first year, I was timid and couldn't do things freely around Ben because I was head over heels. I ignored some red flags completely,we were deeply into each other." Mary said.
Second year: Reality sets in
The pretence, facade,mask falls all off! Those things covered by love get visible. He tries to set boundaries to prove his leadership. The sudden irritation over trivia issues leads to commencement of the correction process.
" Into the second year, I started to notice his weaknesses one of which was,Ben,procrastinated alot. He could fix a visitation for the weekend,then change horses in mid stream without prior notice. It wasn't just acceptable by me.
I called his attention to it few times, but he made no attempt to ameliorate things, rather he wanted me to play along." She stated.
Third year: Volcanic eruption
The couple speak while neighbors listen.
" By the third year,I have had my fill and needed to get it off my chest. So, I decided to be confrontational about it. Ben,did something that made me go berserk. A family friend sent us an invite to a house warming party, he informed the host of our acceptance. Guess what? We missed the party after the host made some seats reservation for us. I couldn't hold back my fury. We argued which resorted to ignoring each other for two days. On the third day,he came around promising to turn a new leaf."
Fourth year: The Transformation
One could change anything easily not habit,it takes a lot of determination and commitment to pull through.
"Each time we had an appointment or visitation, I jotted them down on a note pad,then stick it on the wall by his bed side. The moment he wakes up from sleep his eyes make contact with the memo.
Also, I informed him two days ahead to enable him cancel other plans.
That did the magic and the jinx of procrastination vanished away from Ben's life." Mary added.
Fifth year: The acceptance or rejection
When you live with a particular person for long, you begin to act or reason alike. At this point,most couples either choose to ignore and stay back for the sake of family, friends, society or call it a quit to regain their sanity over repeated unsolved differences in their home.
'Why then did you voice out?' Asked Mimahdairy,
" Well, I voiced out because I wanted my marriage to work like a charm. Ben,is a great father and Husband but I knew that his shortcoming would cost him opportunities,cut friendships and even make him lazy.
No one gets anything from their comfort.zone.I am happy he accepted to work on his habit and it paid off big time." She concluded.
While you prepare for the big day which is barely a 24hours ceremony, remember the main institution is a life time academy. You need to correct in love, regular communication,do not allow issues linger , do not forget to always update the best version of yourself.