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The Lack of Physical Intimacy in Marriage: Is There Still Hope, or Is It the Beginning of the End?

Back then, talking about intimacy was considered taboo. Nowadays, affection has been widely accepted, especially among youth. Still, people have varying opinions about this controversial topic as it can be due to their personal beliefs. However, one thing is for sure: a romantic relationship is not incomplete without physical intimacy.

Intimacy, physical contact, making love, or whatever you call it, this seemingly sensitive topic can make or break a romantic relationship. It can spice up a couple’s relationship. You can also consult an expert in relationship counseling in Draper if you want to improve your connection to your significant other.

The truth about "dry" marriages

Some couples make love several times a week. Others do it at least once a week. Meanwhile, some married couples even cannot remember the last time they made love. Even couples who have been married for decades do not have as much intimacy as they did when they were newly married.

Being in a dry marriage, although a bit embarrassing to admit, is a common thing. This more likely occurs when children enter the picture. It can be due to several things, but it doesn’t mean that couples do not love each other anymore. Nonetheless, it is still better to address this if you are concerned about the frequency of intimacy you get from your marriage.

Experts define a dry marriage as any romantic relationship where physical contact occurs ten times and below within a year. The desire for physical connection has waned, unlike before, when both of you continuously felt that insatiable desire to touch every part of each other’s body once you entered the bedroom.

However, being in a dry marriage is more than just less physical intimacy every week, month, or year. It can be due to several things. It is not always due to the lack of physical contact itself. It can be because of the following factors:

  • The couple has started to drift apart and seems to take each other for granted.
  • Their intimacy preferences seem to mismatch (ex. the other partner does the initiating more than the other spouse)
  • It can also be due to recent childbirth and the adjustment to motherhood.
  • A lack of physical intimacy can also be triggered by stress, whether at work or even in your domestic situation.
  • Less physical contact can also be due to medical conditions such as erectile dysfunction in men.
  • Taking certain medications can also cause less intimacy, including antihistamines, high blood pressure, nasal decongestants, and antidepressants.
  • Mental health concerns, such as anxiety and depression, can also affect one’s libido a lot.

Addressing the lack of physical intimacy

The first thing you have to do is to acknowledge whether you are indeed in a cold marriage. Is it because of one or more of the mentioned things? Regardless of the reason, it is essential to address it and talk it over with your spouse. At the same time, you should both find ways to improve your intimacy and your marriage in general.

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