The number you want is the right one

I have finally reached a stage of my life that I consider a major milestone.

Yes, it is true: I am finally at that magical age in which people have stopped asking me if I am going to have more children.

I am not sure if I reached this current milestone because of my age or if everyone who knew me already asked the question, or because of my son's age and they now think the gap is too big...I don't actually care. I am just so happy that it has been almost a year since the last time someone asked me if I was going to have more children.

After I had my son, so many people asked me that question - relatives, friends, strangers, mild acquaintances - and I tried to never be offended by it. They all were genuinely curious, so I did my best not to point out that it wasn't any of their business. I gave evasive answers sometimes. I deflected in other cases.

And here we are: One child was the right number for our family.

I have lots of friends with multiple children, and while I do wonder how things work when you increase your family's headcount, I believe that they have made the right choice for them. I believe that because they seem as happy as any parent is. (We are a mildly exhausted bunch, but most of my friends try to find the positive in life.)

The truth is that there is not a magic or ideal number of children for your family. The number you want is the right number for you. It sounds simple, but I wish that more people would help spread the word. I think that couples having the discussion to increase their family size have enough to think about without considering a "perfect" number of children.

I like to think about things a few decades from now, when all the population experts will examine the time frame in which I had my son, and they will come up with an over-arching theory of the population's mindset during that period of life. And it may be right; or it could be wrong. It will be an interesting read either way.

In the meantime: I have one son. And that is the right number for my family.

How did you determine what family size was right for you? Share with me in the comments.

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