Dating can be challenged for anyone at any age, but especially for single moms. There is a mixture of emotions that include fear, anxiety and low self-esteem that prevent many from taking the leap onto the dating scene. Children are usually the priority for most single parents, which makes them feel that dating would impose a negative impact on their time. This is only one of the many misconceptions that may be holding you back from enjoying that perfect first day.
The truth is, you’re a great mom who loves your kid(s) with every piece of your heart. To be the best mom you can be, you are certain to always be sure their needs are met. This is what moms do, but there is more to being a mom than just providing a life of happiness for your children. Your happiness must be considered also. While being a mom is fulfilling and you may be very happy in your life, don’t deny yourself a date or two because you feel guilty about taking the time away from your child. You deserve to enjoy your children! You deserve to enjoy life as a mom! You deserve to go out on a date whenever you feel the urge to do so!
If you’re a single mom who wants to date but afraid to do so, take a moment to reevaluate the benefits and what dating as a single mother really means.
For most, dating means years of spending time and getting to know each other to determine if you are compatible. Compatibility implies many things, but for singles, the desire to find someone to start a family is usually strong. As a single mom, the children are already here. You may want more if the right person comes along, but if not, you already have one or more beautiful children of your own. Dating as a single mom can mean anything you want at this point. Find a mate that enjoys the same things as you and shares similar values. The option to move as fast or as slow is an advantage you have over other singles who may be racing against the biological clock.
You’ve overcome numerous obstacles in life as a single mom. Your strength has been amplified thanks to some of the challenges you’ve encountered as a single parent. The ability to preserver in life and get things done is a characteristic you will carry into any relationship. Your determination to see the best in the most complicated scenarios gives you a lighter personality to which others adjust easily. As a single mom, strategizing and planning come naturally. Plan a date that involves fun, good conversation and quality time spent with your date. You have the skills to plan and the free-spirit to enjoy it with the date of your choice.
Hotttt!! Is likely not a term you use to describe yourself as a single mom. Chances are, you’re hotter than you know. One of the biggest challenges for single moms is that they fail to see the value and true beauty in their character and body. Most single moms spend a great deal of time taking care of their bodies, eating healthy and exercising. This is due in part to the fact that they want to be around for as long as possible to take care of their children. The added benefit is that during the process, you’ve developed solid abs, a lifted bottom and calf muscles that look dynamic in any skirt you put on. This is the body you’ve dreamed of since you were eighteen! Now that you have it, you hardly notice it. You have more to offer than just your looks, but it doesn’t hurt that you look great in almost anything you put on.
The days of trying to figure out who you are and what you want out of life went out the door with the last relationship. Regardless of the circumstances surrounding your single status, be it divorce, break-up, death or a personal choice, you were forced to get out there and reinvent a life that works for you. This created a confidence level that not everyone has. You are aware of the let-downs that life can throw at you out of nowhere. Not only are you aware, you are prepared to handle almost anything. You don’t waste time trying to figure out how to make shaky relationships work because you realize the value of your time. A date can last a few minutes or a few hours. As a single mom you won’t waste the valuable time of yourself or your date if you see it’s going nowhere. You don’t feel defeated if a date doesn’t work out because you are aware that not every date will be a success. In fact, you have no expectations these days. You are open to receiving whatever life brings and making the most of every second, even if a few of those seconds are wasted on an occasional bad date.
Single moms are content in their skin. They have a lot going on with activities for the kids, school activities, work and social engagements. Their circle of life is complete in every way. Dating is a luxury that most single women choose to enjoy because they want to and not because they need it. There are many things on the schedule of things to do and dating is one that a confident single woman will choose if her time allows. She understands the importance of life and will only spend it with someone she genuinely enjoys being around.
This article was originally posted on Midlife Single Mommy