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** Goatdog likes wine, which makes total sense since he is my dog.

** If it's not written down, it's not getting done.

** It's obviously some kind of rule that kid puke must be projectile and occur at an ungodly hour of the night.

** Contrary to popular opinion, spandex is NOT for everyone.

** You might wanna reconsider all those selfies if your facial expressions make you look like a serial killer.

** Spring is taking entirely too long to show up to the party.

** Getting a card in the mail is like finding a dollar bill in the dryer.

** Repair men ALWAYS ask to use your bathroom.  (And it's usually to take a dump.)

** A broken dishwasher means it's pizza delivery night.

** The importance of the breath mint is severely underrated.

** My couch just really, really GETS me.

** The kitchen counter is, allegedly, where dirty socks hang out.

** Kids take GROSS to a whole other level.

** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.

SO WHAT DID YOU LEARN THIS WEEK???? >>

 

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