Cultivate Theme

** I am an extremely underpaid entertainment coordinator.

** Nobody wins when Mama oversleeps on a school day.

** You really can't watch the Magic Mike XXL trailer too many times.

** The quickest way for me to fall asleep is to crawl in bed with a book.

** I've read the exact same sentence on the exact same page of my book 52 different times.

** Evidently EVERYONE thinks they have the right of way.

** Privacy might be an even bigger problem if the doorknob to your bathroom comes off.

** Nothing says SEXY like a puberty-sized zit on your adult-sized chin.

** Just because it says that it's an "express" lane does not mean that it is.

** Not all airline employees are a-holes.

** I could make out with a vat of Vaseline and STILL have chapped lips.

** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.



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