Can you let me know when it's 5:00? That's the time I need to take my Haldol.

I won't be able to work on Wednesdays from 3:00-5:00 because that's the visitation hours at the prison where my boyfriend is. If I can't have the time off, I could always bring the kids with me.

How often do you expect me to take the kids to the park...I have a fear of grass.

I hope you don't mind if I bring my imaginary friend with me.

It's cool if you need me to cook meals for the kids....I'm fascinated with fire.

I'm an expert at changing diapers....I wear them myself sometimes.

Would you mind if my boyfriend came over and helped me with the kids? He used to be a sexual predator but he's over that now.

Do I know CPR? I think so...wasn't he one of the robots in Star Wars?

I'm sorry, I didn't hear you....the devil was talking to me.

I'm not sure if I can work overtime....let me call my parole officer and ask.

I hope it's not an issue that I don't drive....my license was suspended after my 2nd DUI.

Is it okay if I watch "The Girls Next Door" while babysitting because that's totally my favorite show and I simply CANNOT miss an episode?

Do you mind if I use your computer while I'm babysitting.....I like to check how many hits my "adult site" gets every couple hours.

Would you mind paying me in cash every Friday....that way I can just go directly to my dealer's house when I'm done babyitting.

If there's an emergency, I'd just call 911....it's a really great way to meet hot guys.

I usually ask for $10.00 per hour but for an extra $20.00 I could "take care" of your husband too, if you want.

Feel free to check my references....oh, but please don't call my last employer....we ended on bad terms. She was so paranoid about me drinking beer while I watched her kids.

Well, I don't really have a LOT of experience with children but people who know me say I have the maturity of a 9-yr old so that should count for something, right?

As far as discipline, I think all kids need a good ass-whipping every once in awhile. That's what my dad always did with me and look how wonderful I turned out. So when do I start?

**Please drop by my bloggy buddy, Tess' site Six Feet Under. Each Wednesday, she does "Words with a Blogger"....I was interviewed for it today...so please go check it out HERE. Oh, and while you're there, PLEASE vote for her Hallmark card (details at the top of her blog)!!!