I hope some see themselves on my thought.
Sooner or later you come to the point on whether to keep a friend or cut them loose, I am at that crossroads. It may be a little to TMI or un called for but I am sharing my thoughts to get it out of my system. We have two different kinds of friends; those who stick with us thru thick and thin and can keep their personal conversations to themselves, can be honest yet supportive. Then you have a friend who will stab you in the back to benefit their poor existence, you know the kind, she'll listen, give advice but then blabs to her friends and the chain goes on and the next thing you know, all the world knows your business and the culprit will give the usual excuse; "I was only sharing with my closest friends, what they do with it, I can't control". Yes you can blabber mouth, shut your yap!
These type of friends seem to be the hen leader of their coop, feeding off of the comments of strangers to you but if you call her out, not only she will blast you but so will her band of cackling hens.They love to play games and make you their Monkey in the middle, thus leaving you in a defensive mode or come out swinging and again creating more drama , making you the instigator. I'll give you an example. Say said friend blasts a family member of yours and passes along the comment that began the war to her friends so they will continue the humiliation thus poking fun and finding hilarity at said family member's expense. You do what most wives do, you kindly ask that yes, it is a conversation between you and your clique and it unfair for strangers to blast as they are or think he( spouse) is a joke.
1 of 2 things happen, the female friend accepts it is unfair since you are the spouse of this 'patsy' and apologize. Of course the 2nd thing occured; you are blasted for all to see and you find yourself the butt of the joke and the rude comments. Then this so called friend does it again, swear the comments are not about you but if the shoe fits, wear it. So, you suggest instead of playing games, name the person, clear up th confusion but no, said friend starts a war, has her hen club behind her and those who have no clue, pick sides. I believe this gets the friend off and feed sher need for drama. It's 1 thing to have a 1 on 1 spar but when other females jump in, this to me is middle school, which I left a long time ago.
A true friend will never call you out, get a kick out of your silliness not question it and make fun of it with her clique. I swallowed a bitter pill yesterday and decided not to feed the beast anymore, ignoring the source usually solve the problem but sometimes it fuels their fire and the cycle continues. I am a true home body, I raise my kids, take care of my family and avoid conflict whenever impossible, this helps me get thru the day knowing if I stay away from some people my name will be left out but of course, wrong again. Why do dome females claim they can have many female friends wo conflict but in reality they can have the title of 'Hedda Hopper', always the instigator but never accepts the blame? These females can always blast and embarrass but will be quick to shoot evil at you if you yourself call her out, playing the victim, again.
These friends are poison and apparently are stuck in middle school for life, ain't worth th eeffort or energy trying to salvage the friendship. Those who make vague comments need to name names and fight their own battles, yeah right. I am starting a class for such friends and their hen party, ' Grow up, move on and mind your own business'. Let go of poison friends and stick with a friend who is true to the end. You know what they say, 2 women can be best friends, but 3 is trouble, well around my way it is. Friends are hard to come by but Family is always there. I choose family, how about you?