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Wow, didn't see this one coming again....

Okay, so you don't all think I am absolutely insane, I am the PROUD mom of 4 beautiful babies!! I absolutely love being a mom and yes, crazy as it sounds I loved being pregnant and even giving birth. My husband had a vasectomy almost a year ago and throughout the year I have had quite a few down moments. I am so blessed to have the 4 healthy babies I have and most days am so glad we are done. But, its hard to explain, but now that he has had the vasectomy I feel so sad that I will never be pregnant again. I will never hold a new baby in my arms that is mine, feed them, nurture them etc. I really miss the excitement of pregnancy and having a baby!! I know most people would look at me like I have 5 heads and how I could feel like this. Maybe its the fact that its now the "cannot have' that is making me feel this way, but WOW, who'd a thunk!! Its also hard to explain to your husband. We didn't plan on having twins for our 3rd child. (Secretly I always wanted 4 kids, so God must have heard me when I prayed to have 4) I just really realize how much I would love to have more babies and surround myself. Logical side of things overtakes though and I want to be able to afford everything for the kids, to let them do things they want to do etc. Its just really amazing how I could feel this way even after 4 beautiful babies and yes even a twin birth. I secretly wish we would be that 1-thousands to have the vasectomy reverse itself and I get pregnant by surprise. I know, Sad isn't it!! :) Maybe all mom's who decide that they are "Done" have gone through this. I thought I was done and gone through it, but secretly, I would really love more kids!!! I feel so weird.........LOL

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